Updated: Jan 17
The language of love…. Slips from my lover’s tongue, cooler than ice cream and
warmer than the sun!💖🎵 (Eurythmics - Who’s that girl?)
When we fall in love (which is actually a temporary physical reaction to help humans bond) It is easy to whisper many wondrous words of passion as our bodies are bursting with ecstatic natural opioids and the person of our affections is glowing like a god or goddess before us.
Words come easily like: 💖I love you, I would die without you, you complete me, your teeth are like stars… they come out at night! 💖🦷✨
This is one version of love language, it is glorious, heart-warming and makes us reach for the tissues, chocolate, or indeed strong beer. Trouble is, it normally only lasts for 6 months to a year for those lucky ones, perhaps a few weeks for others. This infatuated love language is trys to do enough to establish bonds to create a deep relationship, then its task is over.
So, what language comes next? Is it 💔“Did you take the rubbish out? Why can’t you find the milk in the fridge? Stop nagging me! You don’t care about my feelings!”💔 No of course not, that is far too cynical!
I am going to list just a few of the many languages of love, which begin to happen once the first flames of love fade. This second language of love is rich, complex and brings deep connection and satisfaction, and the great thing about it is that it is a love we can share even if we don’t have a sexual partner, it works in all relationships! So read on you single people, this is as much for you as for those smooching couples!🥰
The ability to breath when the other triggers you into irritation, anger, rage.
The ability to affirm the other and extend the arms of acceptance and offer gifts of care.
The ability to be happy with what you have, to send envy packing.
The ability to keep going even when the terrain is tough, you are tired and you feel like it will never end.
The ability to restore and maintain a trust where you give the other the freedom they need.
The ability to speak of feelings freely and to listen to the honest feelings of the other. (Playing 20 Dreams helps make this easier!!)
The ability to be the eyes and ears for the other when they are struggling to see or hear and to hold the bottom of the ladder, to create a safe environment for the relationship to grow.
The ability to put the other first, to value their contribution as equal to your own, and to be ok when you get it wrong.
The ability to restore all the above when the other has not been able to remain connected and has caused you pain.
So, this Valentines have a think about which of the above needs a bit of attention in your relationships, whether it be a lover, a friend, or a family member. See if you can practice the language of love and surprise them by showing them your affection in a way which is unfamiliar to both of you! 🖤 🤎 ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜